Pushing Buttons

My vintage silk scarf saved our “seats” for my two friends and me at the Krishna Das workshop at Bhakti Fest.  I lovingly touched the beautiful threads with my fingertips thinking, the five dollars I spent for it had already paid off.  Krishna Das is arguably the most thought of face when the subject of kirtan (sacred chanting) comes up.  We had spent four hours listening to this man’s moving music the night before underneath the stars… and now, front and center, we’ll hear his thoughts on whatever topics come up.

He began speaking of buttons we push to receive the feeling of love…people, alcohol, sex, exercise…some more “healthy” than others, but still external.  This led me to think about the phrase, “They push my buttons.”  This statement has dual meaning…it’s unknown if it’s a good or bad thing unless you have an understanding of the context around this statement.  Either way, it means the other person knows what stirs passion within you.  In Sales, I know I look for those buttons in my customers and clients…it was to better understand them, to encourage action, but not to be manipulative….right??  I began questioning my motives.

I wanted to think that my own personal buttons weren’t as obvious as others’ were to me….surely I’ve pulled them in.  But just as my ego was about to kick in high gear, a flood of my external weaknesses came as a fast slideshow in my mind.  Alright, so I have a LOT of external buttons…I began to panic.  Could I not drink, swear, shop (the list goes on…in fact, it may have no ending) the rest of my life?!  Glancing down, my sweet silk scarf confirmed the unlikely-hood.  But in asking myself, a powerful desire to own my “love” buttons swelled in my heart.   The erratic pendulum shift one feels with the presence or lack of presence of that button now seemed wildly unnecessary.

Certainly, I will still experience joy outside of myself, but there was a shift and in that moment I knew, finding bliss internally would become my greatest focus.  Looking around the room, a sea of people had their eyes closed, while listening and singing with the sacred chants.  If we could all find and follow our internal bliss, imagine the creativity, joy and kindness we could extend to each other.  May we all find a part of our day where this internal bliss has space to grow.  Om Shanti.

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